Organised Lunacy

It’s been a while, and I’m sorry.

This article is about something I really, really hate. It’s something that gets all the crouds cheering, yes. All the famous musicians have done it, yes. But it’s not good.

I’m talking about instrument smashing.

It REALLY annoys me. I don’t know why people cheer so much when a band finishes a song, grabs the neck of the guitar, and smash it into the ground. I’m gonna go on about Arcade Fire again. I saw a video of one of their shows recently, and at the end the lead singer smashed the guitar up. I was shocked and appaled, because Arcade Fire are supposed to do work for charities, and yet they waste money they could give to Oxfam on buying guitars to play once and then wreck. Muse do it too, with drumkits. Why? Yeah, it’s ‘rock ‘n’ roll,’ but that doesn’t mean it’s ok. To me, smashing an instrument up is like burning books. It’s herecy.

What do you think?

What’s more, do you care?

Myself, I blame that bloody Pete Townsend.

Anyone in the UK will probably be aware of the ridiculous brawl between Virgin Media and Sky.

I thought I’d take this opportunity to say how ridiculous I think the whole thing is.

People are probably swarming away fromVirgin Media as we speak. Why? Because of Sky One. The story is this: Sky channels are broadcast on Virgin through a contract between the two companies. A couple of days ago, this contract had to be renewed for the Sky channels to continue to be broadcast. Only it wasn’t, because the companies didn’t get to an agreement as to a price. Therefore, everyone on Virgin Media lost all their Sky channels overnight.

And?

Thousands of people can no-longer watch Lost and 24. Boo hoo hoo.

Of course, there’s the possibility that Sky planned this. Sure, it’s a ridiculous conspiracy theory, but I think it’s interesting. It goes thusly, in 6 steps:

Sky opens. It spends tons on getting all the programs that have already released in America, so it knows they’ll be big.

It gets its own channels to put these programs on. It lets everyone who pays anything see them.

It builds a massive reputation and gets a lot of viewers

Then… Renewal time! Only it purposely doesn’t sell, so that all of a sudden, all of their uber-popular channels can only be seen on… Sky or Sky+!

Everyone switches over to Sky, and they make millions in subscription fees, paying for the American programs they bought in the first place and a lot more besides.

They’re all rich!

While this is underhanded and evil, it is VERY clever.

My last word is this. Why is telly so important? Why sit there in front of all these programmes when our kids get about 20 minutes of quality time from us a day? Why not go out on a picnic or something and take advantage of the global warming? There is more to life than telly, and I beg you to unite against this battle of channels and go and do something worthwhile. Most of us can read, so why not do that for at least a while?

I’m not forcing anyone to do anything; far from it. You can line Murdoch’s pockets if you with, but I jsut think I should at least try and say taht there’s better things to live for.

The English language has so many beautiful words in it. Try using some more of them.            Sometimes in the morning I remember a really cool word and try to use it during the day in a serious context. I love trawling the web for lists of interesting words. All languages have their own flavour, but English, I suppose from being such a bastard tongue, seems to be the most adaptable. I’m sure you can imagine a romantic novel written in French, but what about a gothic horror? It just doesn’t feel like it would work. German, to me at least, sounds like exactly the opposite. It’d suit horror down to the ground because of the harshness of the sounds, but a German romance, no matter how well written, would no doubt sound very odd.

Here are some of the words I love.

Mirror.

Philumeny.

Slithering.

Play.

Infinity.

Submarine.

Elastic.

Philosophy.

Malodorous.

Palindrome.

Zeppelin.

Sonorous.

Plethora.

Pugnatious.

Turgid.

Generic.

Simultaneous.

This is an exhaustive list of all the books I am reading at the moment, and how far I am through them. As you can imagine, the librarian looked at me very strangely when I borrowed them…

Why Men Don’t Listen and Women Can’t Read Maps, by Allan and Barbara Pease (Scanning)

Uncle Tungsten: memories of a Chemical Boyhood by Oliver Sacks (132/317)

Operation Typhoon Shore by Joshua Mowll (79/276)

Sim City 4: The Official Strategy Guide by… Some guy (Scanning)

Blame My Brain: The Amazing Teenage Brain Revealed by Nicola Morgan (79/175)

Teach Yourself: Film Making by Tom Holden (21/155)

The Encyclopaedia of Cult Childrens’ TV by Richard Lewis (Scanning)

Balderdash and Piffle (Accompanies the BBC TV series) by Alex Games (35/290)

Writing Comedy by Ronald Wolfe (Not Begun)

Eating Your Auntie is Wrong: The World’s Strangest Customs by Stephen Arnott (Scanning)

The Many Faces of Men: The Definitive Guide to the Male Species by Stephen Whitehead (102/242)

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I think I’m getting back into reading. This is undoubtedly the most significant event of world history thus far. It’s been too long since I read a good book. I think I’m a literary bolemic. Maybe after I’ve read them, I’ll try writing again. I might even produce a hit comedy, or relationship psychology guide, or maybe even a game manual.

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What are you reading?

Aargh. This blog is going down the tubes. Honestly, anyone with the slightest idea of how to stop it from dying like a cow in an abatoir really should give me a hand. I’m getting on for 5000 views, although I have my doubts that any less of them than 4000 were made by spambots, but to be brutally honest with myself, I haven’t said really a single relevant thing here. Please, tell me what to type about.

And now, for something completely different.

The Beatles’ company, Apple Corps, have now apparantly made a settlement with Apple (the other, computer one) and their songs are now permitted to be sold on iTunes. Some are predicting that the next UK top 40 will be all their songs, because everyone will be buying them. Me, I’m not sure. I think people nowadays, especially of my generation, are too wrapped up in chav music to like the Beatles.

Anyway, this is besides the point. I’m about to say something SHOCKING! :O

I think that the Beatles are overrated.

Some people would shoot me for saying that, my uncle being one of them, but I think my argument has a serious founding, despite the fact that I actually like them a lot. This is because no-one really deserves the godlike status that they seem to posess. They are untouchable, (apart from the Magical Mystery Tour… :D), and yet I don’t think that anyone should be.

They’re very good; they were very well timed, hence their massive popularity. They’re certainly influential, but I don’t think they’re so phenomenally great that anyone who says that they aren’t the best band ever should be shot.

Some people go one step further, and say that they aren’t actually good at all. I disagree; though their sound is rough,  (nowhere near as polished as  most modern music),  it is RIGHT for them, I think.  There isn’t such a thing as good and bad in music. Just wrong and right. Sure, Ringo isn’t the world’s most technical drummer (and I hate it when people mock him, because it isn’t fair), but if he was, I don’t think the Beatles would have been as good as they were.

But there we are. everyone’s talking about them at the moment, so I thought I’d put in my penny’s worth.

I’ve screwed up. Kinda majorly.

Well, we got a dog. It was never my choice, but that doesn’t seem to matter around here. (I would have much preferred a cat called Napoleon, but I’m sure you knew that already). All that aside, she’s an ex-racing greyhound, and she’s very, very fast. I run up and down the garden with her, and she’s about 574,875 times better at it than me. I’m really beginning to like her. She’s so sweet, and she never barks. She does, however, fart quite a lot.

What’s the significance of this? I don’t know.  I just suppose it says to me that even when I get no say in things, they can still turn out ok.

In other news, my work experience plans have crumbled like Mussolini’s forces. I now have no idea what to do, but there’s a chance I might end up working at crazy Simon’s radio station. Another alternative is the local primary school. But that’s my mushy side showing up again. Not that I mind it.

I have done another test which says my mind is about 50/50 male and female. I think I like it that way.

I really couldn’t be arsed to think of a title. 

I think I’m gonna wrap up this blog. It’s pointless, defunct, and totally irrelevant to anything. I might change my mind though.

In other news, we got a dog (a female ex-racing greyhound). It’s funny, but I never said I wanted one. Everyone ignores me…

I have nothing to say, so I will say this.

Arcade Fire are only, like, the best (indie) band ever. Honestly, if you haven’t heard them, you’re missing out. New album out in March. Yay! I mean, can you expect anything other than amazingness from a band who dress like this?

There. Now you can’t say I never post

Oh, also, I quit my mum’s religion. I feel hideously guilty.